Thursday, July 14, 2011

Cows to the left of me, clover to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you


Right of center

Left of center

Center










There's Middle America, and then there's Lebanon, Kansas. Lebanon is at the exact geographical center of the 48 continental United States and they have the latitude (38,50) and longitude (98,35) to prove it. And, while the north central Kansas town gets its fame from being in the middle, it has more of an edge-of-nowhere feel to it, as long as the edge-of-nowhere is a pretty, pastoral place. Gently rolling hills, dirt roads, the occasional horse running wild...that's about it. But that's okay. The middle of America should be a place for calm, peaceful reflection, far from the frantic coasts to the east and west and international borders north and south. There's a pyramid-like marker with a plaque from 1940 when an L.T. Hagadorn and an L.A. Beardslee literally put Lebanon on the places-in-the-middle-of-other-places map. Sticklers will tell you that the actual really, really, middle point is about a half a mile away on a private farm and this is as close as the marker builders could get. Apparently, the farm's owner didn't want middle-seeking tourists trudging on his land. There's also a trailer with some nice artifacts in it, or so we were told. Unfortunately, in order to unlock the door, you have to call a phone number for an access code and, alas, we were not getting any service on our Motorola. I guess there's just never a phone booth when you really need one. For quiet meditation, there is what has to be one of the nation's smallest chapels, with room for four or less parishioners, depending on girth, built in honor of Elmer and Zeta Stump. But mostly this is just beautiful country, where the middle of nowhere is actually the middle of somewhere, and that somewhere is pretty awesome.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Girl, we couldn't get much Ohio-er: Scenes from the Buck-eye State




World's biggest cuckoo clock, left.


You can park your heini anywhere.

Autographed hot dog buns at Tony Packo's in Toledo.

What's all the hubbub at the Hub of Hubbard, Bub?



The Longaberger Basket Company's picnic basket shaped building.

I remember Maumee.

Birthplace of "third-rate non-entity" President Rutherford B. Hayes.



WHIZ, southeastern Ohio's news leader.

Zippy the Roo, mascot of the University of Akron.

Friday, July 8, 2011

No basses, in fact: Tuba City, Arizona












My old tuba teacher Tucker has this outside his office door at the University of Akron. I always thought God played the bass clarinet.

You can order this fine framed print from Cafe Press. Makes a great present for friends and loved-ones.

As a former tuba player (1972-1988), I took great interest in the fact that if we planned it just right, we could pass through the town of Tuba City, Arizona on our way from the Grand Canyon to Four Corners on our last trip. Would there be tuba concertos blasting from the taverns and concert halls? Would there be statues on the town green of Wilhelm Friedrich Wieprecht and Carl Moritz, who, in 1835, were granted a patent for their Berlinpumpen tuba? Would the gift shops be bursting with chocolate tubas, nerf tubas and tuba toothpaste?

Well, no.

It seems Tuba City gets its name from Tuuvi, the great Hopi leader from Oraibi in today's Arizona. Seems Tuuvi City was too much of a mouthful so it became Tuba City when it was named by the Mormons in 1872. Kinda like Paul McCartney making "Hey Jules" into "Hey Jude". So, while there is an abundant amount of Hopi art and artifacts, there's nary a brass bass horn in sight. Not even a fiberglass Sousaphone.

And if all this is putting you in the mood to hear a little tuba music, and who needs an excuse for that, then check out this link from the International Tuba Day people. If you ask me, every day is Tuba Day.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Ain't that America


Here's hoping everyone has a safe, happy and eccentric Fourth of July.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Beam me up: Riverside, Iowa's Future Birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk

No more blah, blah, blah: The one and only William Shatner as the one and only Capt. Kirk





Resistance is futile.

I've given her all she's got, Captain. I can't give her no more.

Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a city planner.




Set phasers to stunning, as in a stunning display of Star Trek-abilia.


He's not dead, Jim: Riverside, Iowa's Trek Fest President Ken McCracken. (This picture comes from their awesome website.)

Gene Roddenberry, the creator of the landmark TV series "Star Trek", states in his book "The Making of Star Trek", that his lead character, Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, was born in the year 2228 in the state of Iowa. Seizing an opportunity to bring notoriety to his southeastern Iowa town, a Mr. Steve Miller (not the big old jet airliner guy, but another Steve Miller) suggested to his fellow Riverside, Iowa City Council members that Riverside declare itself the future birthplace of Capt. Kirk. The council agreed, got Roddenberry's blessing and found its place in the hearts of velour pullover-wearing Trekkies everywhere. There's a plaque near the Community Club declaring Riverside's Kirk connection and in a modest strip mall, you'll find The Voyage Home Heritage Center and Star Trek Museum, featuring two rooms of eastern central Iowa history and Star Trek memorabilia. Best of all, they have a truck-sized scale model of the Starship Riverside, a legally acceptable facsimile of the Starship Enterprise, parked on a trailer in the museum's lot along Highway 22. It was quite a sight to behold as we rounded 22's bend and saw it, ready to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, and to boldly go where no man (or eccentric roadside traveler, at least) has gone before. Unfortunately for us, we were in Riverside on a Sunday when the museum was closed but a tantalizing peek in the window showed lots of photos and information ready to be taken in by Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike. Riverside was declared Capt. Kirk's hometown in 1985 and every year since they have held a Trek Fest the last weekend of June. In previous years, they've had parades with the likes of Walter Koenig (Mr. Chekov), George Takei (Mr. Sulu) and Nichelle Nichols (Lt. Uhura), and this past June's shindig looks like it was out of this world: a pet show, demolition derby, scifi swapmeet, costume contest, golf cart rodeo, Gunny the Clown and the ever-popular Pin the Lobes on the Ferengi.

So here's to you, Riverside. Live long and prosper.