For sale: T. Rex, good condition, wooly mammoth, needs repair

Wall Street Journal photo

The Wall Street Journal (!) had a story about some eccentric roadside attractions up for sale due to retiring Mom and Pop owners and the changing habits of travelers. Check it out here.

Unfortunately-named roadside business of the week: The Bunghole Liquor Store of Salem, Massachusetts

"I'm going down to the Bunghole, honey. You want anything?"

They've got a funny history. Read about it here.

A sight for sorcerer's eyes: Salem, Massachusetts' "Bewitched" statue

They've taken Sam to heart in Salem with T-shirts...

...and other tributes around town.

A pretty witch marries a jumpy, mortal adman. They live in either suburban Connecticut or New York state (depending on the episode) where she keeps house and has to hide her true identity from prying neighbors. Her disapproving mother and colorful relatives interfere and make the adman even more jumpy. The mother turns the husband into a frog (or worse) and the witch twitches and her nose turns him back. Hilarity ensues. That just about sums up the 1964-72 TV sitcom "Bewitched," starring Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha, Dicks York and Sargent as Sam's husband Darren, and Agnes Moorhead as Sam's mother Endora. It came from that glorious 1960s TV era when every sitcom had to have a gimmick: The Munsters were monsters, I Dream of Jeanie was a genie, and Patty Duke had an identical cousin. It also had a breezy theme song and fun animated opening credits. When the TVLand network started erecting statues of characters from their stable of classic sitcoms in different parts of the country, they saw fit to a create a likeness of Samantha sitting on her broom in a moon crescent as she is depicted in the show's opening. But where to put the sorceress sculpture? Salem, Massuchusetts, with its storied, witchy past (and its use as a location on the show a couple of times), seemed like a (super) natural location. After a bit of controversy and protest from some of the townfolk who thought it was insensitive to put a TV sitcom statue on the very sight where 19 innocent people were executed in 1692, the TVLand people smoothed things over and dedicated their magical memorial in 2005. It's charming and enchanting any witch way you look at it.

Booming business: North Stonington, Connecticut's "Three-Finger" Eddie's

Except for the "Live free or die" state of New Hampshire, fireworks stores have been a rare commodity in the northeast, so when a defunct gas station was converted into a black powder emporium in southeastern Connecticut on the Rhode Island state line, we had to stop and check it out. Unfortunately, it was a few weeks after the fourth of July and the place had already gone, er, bust, but they still had their sign up and a truck parked out front with their spectacularly tasteless name emblazoned on them. Was this place really called "Three-Finger" Eddie's? Really? Yes, yes it was. This reminded me of the fact that a name alluding to accidents or mental illness seems to be a requirement of most retail explosives outlets. An internet search won't turn up any Harvard Educated Mike's or Better Safe Than Sorry Betty's, but you will find Krazy Kaplan's, Crazy Carl, Crazy Herb's, Dizzy Dean, Wild Bill's, Wild Wilma's, Fireworks Frenzy, Pyromaniac Fireworks, and Angelo's Fireworks and Sno-Cones. For sheer tacky fire-power, though, "Three-Finger" Eddie's still has them beat by a sky-high mile. When a customer pays good cash money for retail pyrotechnics, he wants to know he'll potentially lose a digit or two.

The New York Tines: Rock City, New York's fork in the road

We're very fond of the Yogi Berra quote "When you come to a fork in the road, take it"... so much so that it's up there above the big concrete potato on our masthead. So you can imagine what a thrill it was to see a 31-foot piece of tined cutlery at the grassy intersection of routes 308 and 199 in the little Duchess County, New York hamlet of Rock City, near Rheinbeck, where Chelsea Clinton just got married. Local entrepreneur Stephen Schreiber erected the big utensil out of scrap steel back in 2000 as a fun art project and to bring attention to the town. And bring attention it does, even appearing in a cartoon panel of Ripley's Believe It Or Not! "I did it as a goof," Schreiber told the Poughkeepsie Journal. "I didn't think they would let me leave it there. Nobody has said anything." Kudos to Schreiber for coming up with the funky forky idea and to Rock City for being cool enough to get the joke. May the forks be with you.

Hyde Park, New York: Everything's coming up Roosevelt

The Hyde Park Brewing Company cleverly took a liberty with FDR's cigarette holder by changing it into a spring of grain.

Located on the beautiful Hudson River in southeastern New York State, Hyde Park is a charming little town and most famous for being the lifelong home of President Franklin Roosevelt. He was born at the family estate, Springwood, and he is buried there, along with his wife Eleanor and dog Fala. The FDR home is a National Historic Site and well worth seeing, and the town revels in all its Rooseveltness. All around are signs reminding you that our 32nd president was from here, especially in the form of his famous bespeckled cigarette holder-clenching profile. Smokers aren't celebrated much any more, so it's interesting to see so many FDRs puffing away on aristocratic appliances. Happy days are here again.

Prime real estate: Saugus, Massachusetts' Hilltop Steak House

This gives you an idea of the scale of this neon masterpiece (Hitchcockian camera angle thrown in at no extra charge).

This is the pork roast luncheon special for $9.99. I kid you not.

Doggie bag, please.

This helpful placemat lets you know just what part of the steer you're eating...

...but there is such a thing as too much information.

Frank Giuffrida, looking a bit like Al Martino here.

Saugus, Massachusetts, thirteen miles northeast of Boston, has a stretch of Route 1 that whizzes by at about a million miles an hour. Folks in this area have places to go, people to see, things to do, and the biggest thing to do along here for the past 49 years has been the Hilltop Steak House. In 1961, restaurateur Frank Giuffrida wanted all of Massachusetts to know he was opening a western-themed steak house, so he erected a 50-foot neon cactus in the style of old Freemont Street Las Vegas to beckon all carnivores near and far, along with a restaurant building resembling a corral and life-size plastic cows grazing in front. The place became a sure-fire bonanza, serving three million customers annually in their enormous dining rooms named Kansas City, Dodge City and Carson City. Customers stampeded for the huge portions at low prices and a wait of an hour or more was not uncommon, with a regionally accented lady announcing over the loudspeaker "numba 44 for Dawge City" to get you to your table. Our old friend Gary took us to the Hilltop back in the 80s we and got the full experience: the crowds, the lady, the western motif, the meat. So we were wondering what the place would be like all these years later. Happily, it's still there and looks exactly the same (and I do mean exactly). We were there at lunchtime on a Saturday and there were no crowds at all, so no "Cahson City" pronouncements by the loudspeaker lady. The portions were still artery-cloggingly enormous and at low, low prices. And best of all, Massachusetts' most famous 5-story cactus is still alive and well.

Recent posts by diners on sites like tripadvisor are very mixed. Steak connoisseurs bust their chops over the food and service, and nostalgic locals say the Hilltop has gone down hill in the last 20 years. Personally, we thought our food was great (with enough left over for many more meals), but the food isn't the main reason for going here. It's a time warp, a reminder of a bygone era when eating a ton of meat and starch meant you were living the good life and your place mat showed you what part of the cow you were eating. So we've loined our lesson, Hilltop: what goes round comes round. You didn't steer us wrong. Shanks for the memories for a job well done.