Ear-resistible: Mitchell, South Dakota's Corn Palace

This picture is from travelsd.com, and is a lot nicer than the one I shot when we were there.

If you're in South Dakota, you have to visit the Corn Palace, as was the case with then-presidential candidate Barack Obama in 2008...

...as well as with me in 2002 (crowd control was less of an issue).

The exterior of the building is decorated with an a-maizing display of corn every year.

Mitchell, South Dakota is just off Interstate 90 and is a small farming community with one of the biggest and best eccentric roadside attractions you could ever ask for: the world's only Corn Palace. It's a multi-purpose arena and is visited by over 500,000 people a year. The architecture is Moorish revival (ironically featuring onion domes) and the exterior murals and decorations are made up of corn kernels, husks and cobs. It dates back to 1907, when Mitchell was in a fierce fight to become the state capital city (it lost to Pierre). As a result, the unusual building was commissioned and has remained ever since. The building hosts a yearly rodeo and polka festival, as well as the home basketball games of the Dakota Wesleyan University Tigers and the fighting Mitchell High School Kernels. The exterior decorations are a stupendous cornucopia for the eyes and boggle the mind because they're redone every year in a different theme by local artists. The interior is also decorated in corn and is a wonderful cobjet d'art. I know it sounds corny, but, aw shucks, this place had me grinning from ear to ear, so ears looking at you, Mitchell.

A Streetcar To Desire: Gardner, Illinois' Streetcar Diner and Riviera Roadhouse on Route 66

Route 66's Riviera was one of Al Capone's old haunts.

Out back, they've got a great old streetcar diner.

Illinois has a great stretch of Route 66 with many well-preserved roadside delights. Just north of the small town of Gardner sits two, two, two eccentric roadside attractions in one. Out front is the Riviera Roadhouse, dating back to 1928. Gene Kelly and Tom Mix liked to stop here in the old days, and liquor and slot machines could be found here for discreet patrons during Prohibition. None other than Al Capone was one of the notorious VIPs way back when. It was closed when we stopped by, but a quick web search tells me they're still open for business, serving good grub and a Schlitz or two if you so desire. Behind the Riviera sits a true gem: a former horse-drawn streetcar diner that's over 100 years old. It's been in Gardner since 1932 and was a food stop for the Greyhound bus line until it closed in 1939. It was moved to its current location behind the Riviera in 1955 and was used mostly for storage until the Illinois Route 66 Preservation Committee restored it to its original appearance. It's a serene sight, like a retired racehorse gently grazing out its days in the meadow behind the barn.

Signs and things around Chicago, the Miami of Canada

We had some fun riding around Chicago on top of one of those open air double-decker buses. I couldn't get enough of the buildings and signs along the way. What a great city. I also like a city with a nickname and Chicago's got a ton of them. "The Windy City" is probably the best known, but one theory purports that "windy" isn't a reference to the weather; rather, the talkative nature of the city's politicians. "The Second City" is another, and was first used in a snotty New Yorker article comparing New York to Chicago. The origin of the name "Chicago" itself is funny too: an Indian word for smelly onions. Here are a few more, from wikipedia:

• "The Miami of Canada" - As referred to by Mr. Burns in an episode of The Simpsons.

• "New Gotham" - Because of the vast amount of footage used of the city for the 2008 film The Dark Knight.

• "The Chill or Chi Ill" - Also used by rap musicians from the area.

• "City by the Lake" - Used in the Smashing Pumpkins' song "Tonight, Tonight."

• "City on the Make" - From "Chicago, City on the Make" (1951), a prose poem by Nelson Algren.

• "The City That Works" - According to former Mayor Richard J. Daley.

• "The Big Onion" - An homage to the original Native name for the area (which meant "onion"), in parallel with a popular New York nickname, "The Big Apple."

• "City in a Garden" - English translation of the Latin motto on the city seal: "Urbs in Horto."

• "Beirut by the Lake" - From a Wall Street Journal article during the Council Wars of the 1980s.

• "My Kind of Town" - According to the song "My Kind of Town (Chicago Is)" (music by Jimmy Van Heusen, words by Sammy Cahn, 1964) popularized by Frank Sinatra. (Originally from the film, Robin and the Seven Hoods, about a fictional popular Chicago gangster).

• "Paris on the Prairie" - From the 1909 plan for the City of Chicago created by Daniel Burnham.

• "Sweet Home" - From the Robert Johnson song Sweet Home Chicago.

• "Heart of America" - Chicago is one of the largest transportation centers in America and its location near the center of the United States.

• "That Toddling Town" - According to the lyrics of the song "Chicago" (music and words by Fred Fisher, 1922) also popularized by Frank Sinatra (as well as Tony Bennett).

and last but not least:

• "Hog Butcher for the World" - Described in a poem by Carl Sandburg.

Super size me: Chicago's enormous Rock & Roll McDonald's

Two stories, two lanes of drive-through, too too much!

It looks more like an airport than a McDonald's.

They've got some cool pop culture exhibits upstairs.

Chicago, Illinois hosts one of the largest and most unusual McDonald's in the world. On the block bounded by West Ontario, West Ohio, North LaSalle and North Clark sits a behemoth tribute to American fast food culture. More than just a McNugget dispensery, it's a bi-level combination restaurant/museum three times the size of the average Mickey Dees, with a two-lane drive through and seating for 300. The decor is chic with plasma screen TVs and Italian lighting, and lattes, gelato and biscotti are served in the coffee bar upstairs. Outside, two 60-foot arches beckon you to take a break today. Pop culture artifacts going back to McDonald's early years are displayed upstairs and an adjacent building in the parking lot houses tributes to Elvis, the Beatles and other rock and roll luminaries. Chicago's Hard Rock Cafe is in the same neighborhood and may be why this particular theme was chosen. Best of all, clean public bathrooms are available to all seekers -- quite a rarity in the middle of a huge metropolis. The original 1983 McDonald's on this block was demolished in 2005 so this incarnation could be built to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the original franchised McDonald's restaurant in nearby Des Plains, now a museum itself. And the food... well, it's exactly like every other McDonald's in the world, which, depending on your outlook, is either a good thing or a bad thing. And, yes, I'll have fries with that.

Your witness: Los Angeles' Perry Mason court building

L.A.'s Hall of Justice, where Perry could always get a parking space on the street right in front.

Raymond Burr in the role he was born to play.

Barbara Hale as Della Street, the best gal Friday in the business. And dig that crazy office decor!

William Hopper as Paul Drake, Perry's on-call rakish PI.

The great William Talman as Hamilton Burger, TV's losingest DA, but a man with great integrity deep down.

Ray Collins as Lt. Tragg, who's always convinced he's got Perry cold this time.

And Connie Cezon as Gertie. "Mista Mason!"

Los Angeles is the main location of the great 1957-66 TV series "Perry Mason." The old L.A. Hall of Justice is an establishing shot in most of the episodes and that building still stands in L.A. and looks just as it did in the TV show, only without the 1950s cars driving past it. It's had some notorious "guests" in its day including Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan but it's been unused since an earthquake damaged it in 1994. A restoration effort has been underway for many years.

"Perry Mason" turned 52 this year and it's, without a doubt, the best show in the history of television. Here's why:

Perry is cool. He's never nervous, always knows what to do and is neatly groomed. Ordinary people are always asking him, "Aren't you Perry Mason, the famous lawyer?" He works night and day for his clients, sometimes for free. And he's never wrong.

Della Street is smart. And attractive. And good at pretending to be someone else sometimes. She stays at the office just as late as Perry and never complains. You never really know if she and Perry are an item, and I've never known anyone whose last name is a synonym for pavement.

Paul Drake is REALLY cool. A big, barrel-chested P.I. with prematurely silver hair in a checkered sportcoat smoking a Winston and driving a T-Bird. He's got his own private back entrance to Perry's office, always sits on the edge of Perry's desk and greets Della with an ever so suave "Hiya, beautiful" (she usually just rolls her eyes back at him).

Hamilton Burger. William Talman is brilliant as the eternally crabby D.A. who always loses but isn't really a bad guy. His best bit: Slowly shaking his head "no" in disbelief while rising from his table in court and bellowing out a long, scratchy, irritable, "Your Honor!"

Lieutenant Tragg. Another grouch who's always positive he's got Perry beat this time. He usually shows up behind a door or from a closet one minute after the stiff is found, charging Perry's client with Murder One, very full of himself.

Gertie. She's Perry's receptionist, usually on the other end of Perry's or Della's phone ("Yes, Gertie"). She actually shows up on camera once or twice and is a real lollapalooza.

Nice clean murder. No rape, incest or other unpleasantries. Blackmail's most often the motive and the victim is usually very mean and unpleasant and had it coming to him or her anyway.

Everyone is nasty. Rich or poor, young or old, they all act like their shoes are on too tight.

Terrific character actors. If you watch this show a lot, you'll see the same fabulous repertory company of character actors over and over again. And I don't know the names of any of them.

TV's best theme song. The pounding piano. The fat trumpet. The big crescendo. Drama with a capital D.

Newspapers with giant headlines. "HEIRESS MURDERS BOYFRIEND," printed so big it looks like World War III just broke out.

It holds up in reruns. It's like listening to opera or your favorite Beatles records - you sing along with the best parts. And even if I've seen the show before, I can never remember who the murderer is, anyway.

They never break from the formula. Perry's client never takes the stand, the real murderer confesses, Perry's client is innocent. You can set your watch by it.

It's a period piece. Fabulous cars, great clothes, cool furniture. Will "The Practice" look this cool fifty years from now?

I rest my case.

Manly at-tire: Magnolia, New Jersey's Tire Store Muffler Man

Muffler Men and New Jersey go together like Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. A nice diversion off the New Jersey Turnpike in the southern part of the state is Royal Tire and Auto's magnificent specimen of muffler manhood. Nattily fitted in black shirt, faded red pants and rubber tire bracelet, this brute looks right at home on this busy Garden State thoroughfare. He also appears to be sporting pink lipstick, but, hey, we're not here to judge. You're spinning your wheels if you think you'll top this muffler man: he's got charm to spare, performs well under pressure, will belt it out and ply his trade, and won't leave you feeling deflated. I skid you not. (rim shot)

Staying the corset: New Haven, Connecticut's former Smoothie Foundation Garment factory

I love how the women in these ads look so nonchalant about wearing girdles around the house.

Ouch!

Today, a smoothie is a delicious frothy combination of fruit, ice and yogurt, but back in the era when women had to wear elastic torture devices to look good, a Smoothie was a top of the line girdle manufactured by the Strouse Adler Company of New Haven, Connecticut. Their factory first began cranking out unmentionables way back in 1860, and continued up until 1999 in the same brick building until they were forced to do some, er, belt-tightening and move the operation off-shore. Savvy real estate developers wasted no time converting the building into luxury apartments with a funky SoHo feel. And instead of being embarrassed by selling urban hipsters flats in a former girdle factory, they embraced it. A fabulous, huge "Smoothie" sign has been repainted on the side of the building and can be seen from miles away, just as it could in its hey-day. And wonderful original metal Smoothie script logos still adorn the other sides of the building. It's a cinch to see what a waist it would have been if the developers didn't have the guts to keep the girdle theme going, and that's not stretching the truth.

Happy birthday, Leith

My brother always saw to it that I was well-fed.

Someone driving by asked if we were lost when I got out to take this picture in Leith, North Dakota.

Leith, North Dakota welcomes you...

...as does the Leith Run in Ohio.

Today is my brother Leith's birthday and I wish everyone was lucky enough to have a brother as good as he is. He was my mentor when I was growing up and it seems appropriate that his birthday falls on or near Thanksgiving because I've always been thankful for having him. There's a connection here roadtrip-wise, too. Leith was a bit of a map-savant as a child and always told my parents what route to take and which exit they needed on our many long road excursions. He was only nine, but without his navigation skills, we probably would have wound up in the Georgia swamp or something on the way from Connecticut to Grandma's house in Florida (I, on the other hand, was always content to snooze in the way-back of the station wagon). More recently, Leith's unusual name has popped up on some of our roadtrips. We visited the tiny deserted town of Leith, North Dakota, and passed by the Leith Run near the Ohio River. If anyone out in blogland knows of any other places named Leith, I'd love to add them to our collection. So happy birthday, Leith, and remember: the time to laugh is when the profit is made.

Central Standard Time: Odell, Illinois' antique gas station

A spectacular example of well-preserved Route 66 petrolium-abilia resides in the pleasant little town of Odell, Illinois. A 1932 Standard gas station greets you like a cheery "Howdy" while you're tooling down the mother road. As was typical with other towns along 66, Odell was a bustling community with 10 gas stations up until the interstate was put in, robbing Odell of its traffic and causing most local businesses to disappear. This particular station kept selling gas, though, up until 1967. The station was a body shop up until 1999 and then the village of Odell purchased it for historic preservation. And what a beautiful preservation it is. Crisp blue and white paint, antique pumps, and cool old lettering on the roof shingles. It now serves as a tourism station and is on the National Register of Historic Places. Inside, friendly folks will give you pens and pads with the nicest town slogan I've ever heard: "A small town with a big heart, where everybody is somebody." We could use more places where everybody is somebody, couldn't we?

Rover in a Rover in Thomson, Georgia

Little dogs rule.

Semi-conscious: Trucks seen along the way

Is she supposed to be drinking home heating oil?
Probably the weirdest truck advertisement I've ever seen.

Objet DART

Mmmm...Kozy Shack...

Don't even think of using a radar detector, Mr. Kozy Shack Driver Man

You see a lot of trucks when you're on a roadtrip and to borrow a line from the great Ray Stevens, they're all beautiful in their own way. They make for good pictures out the car window when you're a little bored or stuck in traffic. 10-4, good buddy.

Get a load of this: North Platte, Nebraska's Norge Ball

They've got an awesome water tower in North Platte, too...

...and the grains don't come more amberer or wavier than in Nebraska.

We made an overnight stop in North Platte, Nebraska a few years ago. I had never been to the Cornhusker state before and I really liked it. Nice folks, nice wide open spaces. As is the case with long trips, every few days a laundromat stop is required. We found one in North Platte with a most beguiling sign. An odd globe bedazzled with Wonder Bread style polka-dots beckoned us to the North Platte Wash & Dry. I was three sheets to the wind with awe at its hypnotizing effect. It was dilapidated yet enchanting. I figured it was just a one-off roadside oddity, but upon further research came to find out that a whole chain of 3,400 Norge Village laundromats had these same globes dating back to the early 60s. Debra Jane Seltzer, the awesomest roadside architecture authority of them all, has a whole page of Norge balls on her amazing website. She says only 50 or so exist today, so I'm awash in gratitude to have been in the presence of such a cool one.

Marxism in Moundsville: West Virginia's Marx Toy Museum

If you grew up in the fifties and sixties, you probably played with or watched TV commercials advertising Marx toys. They specialized in plastic figures, including Johnny West and a cadre of Wild West action characters, Big Loo, a space age robot, and the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots ("hey... you knocked my block off!"). The little northern West Virginia panhandle town of Moundsville (there really is a mound there) is the home of the Marx Toy Museum. In it you will find toys and artifacts from the 1920-70s. It's all the collection of one man and his son, Francis and Jason Turner. None of the toys have been restored; rather, they all look like they've been stashed in an attic or basement for the last half-century, waiting to be put on display in their slightly worn condition. It makes sense to have the museum here, as the nearby town of Glen Dale once hosted Marx's biggest factory. By the 1950s, Louis Marx was the world's most productive toy maker and he even made the cover of Time magazine in 1955. Unfortunately for the local people, he sold the company in 1972 and by 1980 it went out of business. I think my favorite relic on display was the "Ben Hur" action set. Any objet d'Charlton Heston is tops in my book. In fact we give high Marx (p.u., that pun is awful) to the whole place.

Souvenir classic of the week: This car climbed Mt. Washington

The Auto Road is 8 miles long with harrowing hairpins, extereme bends and no guardrails.

The view from the top is a sight to see.

This Mt. Washington stickered car was spotted in Taiwan..

...and this one was seen at Joshua Tree National Park in California.

An early 1930s version of the great Mt. Washington sticker.

New Hampshire's Mt. Washington is the tallest mountain in the northeast and the third tallest in the east. It also proudly bills itself as home of the world's worst weather. If you head up the mountain on a fall, winter or spring day, you could encounter life-threatening changes in weather in a matter of hours. They have an auto road that's a little harrowing but worth it. Oh sure, the views are spectacular, but if you drive up they'll give you a "This car climbed Mt. Washington" bumper sticker. Anyone who lives in the northeast has seen this sticker thousands of times. Made of the finest vinyl, it shows you've got the right stuff when it comes to roadside attractions that require a little get up and go. The Auto Road website has a feature where readers can submit their sticker-bedecked autos from the far reaches of the planet, the furthest being Taiwan. But my favorite is a co-worker of mine's who put one on the back of his office chair, which makes me smile every time I see it.

Notable neon of the week: Provincetown, Massachusetts' Lobster Pot

Provincetown, Massachusetts is a beautiful and funky art community that rests on the tip of scenic Cape Cod. My family vacationed there often when I was growing up, and while we never dined at the Lobster Pot restaurant on Commercial Street, its friendly neon lobster was always a landmark to me. After not visiting for many years, I went back to P-town recently and was delighted to see the sign is still there, exactly as it was when I was a kid. And we still didn't dine there.

Roo-ination: Zippy, the University of Akron's kangaroo mascot

Akron, Ohio is a nothern industrial city known for, among other things, being the hometown of Goodyear Rubber. It's also on the way to lots of places if you're driving from the east to the west. We have a good friend who teaches at the University of Akron who we always stop in and see on our road trips. I didn't realize the university had an unusual mascot, though, until our last trip. Wildcat? No. Cougar? Nada. Kangaroo? Ding, ding, ding! Zippy the Kangaroo, to be precise, who has been their beloved mascot since 1953. Why Akron picked an Australian marsupial is a bit of a mystery, but the incongruity makes it tops in my book. I suppose kangaroos are fast, agile and determined, all good traits in a college sports mascot, but it's still a bit kooky. Zippy is also a female, one of only a few female college sports mascots in the country and certainly the only one with a pouch. Capital One (the credit card company) sponsors a college mascot popularity contest (and you thought those high credit card interest rates were only used to line greedy corporate CEOs' pockets...well, they are, but they also put UAkron on the map). Zippy has been chosen number one on more than one occasion, giving Rootown something to cheer about. Take that, Kent State!

What, no blue ox?: Rocky Mount, North Carolina's Bunyan Muffler man

There's a Log Cabin Homes place in the northern North Carolina town of Rocky Mount that had the good taste to import a decommissioned Paul Bunyan muffler man from Illinois to be used as their mascot. He stands next to Old Glory on a 40-foot perch that can be seen by dazzled passersby off exit 145 off of I-95. Log Cabin President Tom Vesce says "The company has already been bombarded by Muffler Men aficionados for site visitations and picture taking alongside Paul Bunyan," which just proves the "Field of Dreams" adage, "If you build it (or in this case Bunyan it), they will come."

Ben Bernanke, Great American

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke's stock went way up when I found out an interesting tidbit about his youth. When he was a Harvard student, he worked summers at South of the Border, the beloved tourist trap located in his hometown of Dillon, South Carolina. And not some cushy front office job. He waited tables wearing a poncho just like Pedro, their mascot. This is a truly great American and I'm brimming with confidence that he will use the mantra "What Would Pedro Do?" to guide us out of the financial turmoil our great nation is currently in.

Me encanta recuerdos de mal gusto desde el sur de la frontera*: I love tacky souvenirs from South of the Border

Pull his pants down and he pees. Hilarity ensues.

Richard Petty is ready to greet you...

...as is this friendly native American.

The place looks like it hasn't changed since forever.

Religious icons, anyone?

Nothing makes a roadtrip more fun than a stop for some useless junk, and South Carolina's South of the Border has some of the best crappe of anywhere in the world. Inflatable chili peppers? Check. Risque bath towels? Check. Souvenir backscratcher? Check. Who wouldn't want one of thousands of these precious keepsakes as a memento of the all good times had by all? The decor here is wonderful, too: hand-lettered signs, old wooden counters and shelves, friendly poncho-wearing help. And you can pick up a whole bunch of treasures without breaking the bank. Yo quiero South of the Border.

*if this translates to something ridiculous like "Bite the wax tadpole" it's because I don't speak Spanish and used an online translator.

Mi tacky casa es su tacky casa: South Carolina's South of the Border

If you're driving from the northeast to Florida, you're going to want an oasis half way there. And if your idea of an oasis includes Tacky-with-a-capital-T souvenirs, buildings shaped like sombreros and crude sculptures of mustached poncho-wearing Mexicans named Pedro, you can't top South of the Border in Dillon, South Carolina. A Mexican-themed (for no apparent reason) tourist trap, SOB has been pulling millions of weary travelers off I-95 since the 1950s with promises of deluxe accommodations, wonderful gifts, and delightful eats. You may or may not get all that but you will get a retro tackarama, bursting with unnecessary but essential junk for the taste-challenged road warrior and lots of neon festooned pseudo-stucco. We didn't spend the night here, alas, but we did have a nice meal at Pedro's Casteteria and loaded up on plenty of googahs, whatnots and tchochkes at their deluxe gift emporiums. I've never been to Tijuana, but I get the feeling this might be a reasonable facsimile only without the vice and diarrhea. It would have been great to see all the neon lit up at night. I was especially taken with how much the place appears unchanged since the 1960s. The same junky souvenirs I loved buying on roadtrips as a kid back then are here, on painted wooden shelves with hand-lettered signs advertising their greatness. Bliss! SOB is so vast, I've split up the pictures: this post shows the architecture. I'll get to the souvenirs next. Til then, manana, amigos!